Wednesday, April 25, 2012
finally!
no, i don't have an apartment yet, but i do have an iphone! and yes, I love it! It does everything I could possibly want. only 1 problem, that is the headphone jack only works in 1 ear, not a huge deal, but at the same time very annoying. everybody I've talked to says sounds like the jack is busted, and I don't know how it could be, because i haven't dropped it or anything. when I transfered all my stuff from my ipod to my phone, everything transfered except 1 crucial thing. my bible, the ap is their, but I'm having to use a different bible vershion than i'm use to because the niv didn't transfer. again, not a huge deal, and I'm getting use to it, but its still frustrating. I do have news on an apartment, sense you are reading this hoping for something other than iphone iphone iphone. I am now 2nd on the waiting list, so I wont get the next available opening, but I will the 1 after that. I'm hoping to be in by sometime this summer, but we'll see. the joke I tell everybody is well if i'm not in by summer, maybe i'll be in by football season, or if not then maybe basketball season, or if not then well theirs always track and feeld time next spring haha. the wait is made somewhat more bearable because I know I'm much closer than i was a year ago. so thats where things stand, on both apartment and phone. theirs a lot more to the phone saga, but I don't feel like writing it.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
remending
i'm not sure when this will get posted, because as of this moment my internet is down, but its important to note that the date is 4-4-12. wait, 12 right? let me look,yes 12, sorry about that. now on to the content of todays post, if i can type without hitting 10 letters at once, which is looking mighty tricky right now.
so remember the post last night on how I felt god wasn't working? yeah, that, um, he proved me wrong today, praise the lord! I spent most of the day laying down or just kinda sitting around, but I did send one text saying if you have any incouragement laying around i need it badly. that was at like 12 something, and I didn't hear anything but i was so depressed i was like fine whatever. so right before mom got home a little after 5:30 i got this text,i want you to get up right now and start praising the lord. no matter how it looks or if you feel like it, do it. That made me sooo mad, part of me was thinking how dare you say that to me, you don't understand what I'm going through, then a very small voice said this, psst, hey, the bigger ones still sayin how dare her say praise the lord, she has no psst, hey,idea what i'm, psst, hey, going through, psst, hey, what! what, do you want! the small voice said this: yes, she does know.that stopped me, i was like what? again, louder, she knows and understands. then it hit me and I was like, o! your right, she does understand. when that clicked the burden lifted. now, i've sped it up a little, all this didn't happen in 2 minutes, it was several texts and about an hour before i got it. now, why share this? because for the first time in at least 3 days my eyes are open, i now believe that anything i right in that leter, god will hear and deal with it, he already knowsall the desires of my heart, i believe he's wanting to see me surrender them into his hands. he knows i'm waiting on a word or action, and the devil also knows it, thats why he put it in my head, to skip church on easter. he told me and i believed that nothing i wrote would be done and i should just stay home because everyone else was gonna get a blessing but i wasn't. I'll go so far as to say this, I have a very strong feeling somethings gonna happen on sunday, if not to me then someone i'm close to. Something spiritual, not physical. The last time I felt this strongly, i ended up in the flor at the alter, and by the time it was said and done I had asked for and recieved the holy spirit. or rather as we call it the holy ghost. so in closing, i want to just thank god, o my i'm about to start shouting, o, don't do that,shhh be quiet! thank you god for putting people in my life who incourage me when i have nothing left, thank you for giving them endless patience and wisdom so they are able to deal with my moodes and can help, o, no, no get out of my head, not that i don't like the song but moms asleep in the next room, and when all i'm hearin is o what a singing, o what a shouting, on that happy morning when we all shall rise, well its really hard to be quiet. ya know? ok well anyway, thanks god for being so awsome!
so remember the post last night on how I felt god wasn't working? yeah, that, um, he proved me wrong today, praise the lord! I spent most of the day laying down or just kinda sitting around, but I did send one text saying if you have any incouragement laying around i need it badly. that was at like 12 something, and I didn't hear anything but i was so depressed i was like fine whatever. so right before mom got home a little after 5:30 i got this text,i want you to get up right now and start praising the lord. no matter how it looks or if you feel like it, do it. That made me sooo mad, part of me was thinking how dare you say that to me, you don't understand what I'm going through, then a very small voice said this, psst, hey, the bigger ones still sayin how dare her say praise the lord, she has no psst, hey,idea what i'm, psst, hey, going through, psst, hey, what! what, do you want! the small voice said this: yes, she does know.that stopped me, i was like what? again, louder, she knows and understands. then it hit me and I was like, o! your right, she does understand. when that clicked the burden lifted. now, i've sped it up a little, all this didn't happen in 2 minutes, it was several texts and about an hour before i got it. now, why share this? because for the first time in at least 3 days my eyes are open, i now believe that anything i right in that leter, god will hear and deal with it, he already knowsall the desires of my heart, i believe he's wanting to see me surrender them into his hands. he knows i'm waiting on a word or action, and the devil also knows it, thats why he put it in my head, to skip church on easter. he told me and i believed that nothing i wrote would be done and i should just stay home because everyone else was gonna get a blessing but i wasn't. I'll go so far as to say this, I have a very strong feeling somethings gonna happen on sunday, if not to me then someone i'm close to. Something spiritual, not physical. The last time I felt this strongly, i ended up in the flor at the alter, and by the time it was said and done I had asked for and recieved the holy spirit. or rather as we call it the holy ghost. so in closing, i want to just thank god, o my i'm about to start shouting, o, don't do that,shhh be quiet! thank you god for putting people in my life who incourage me when i have nothing left, thank you for giving them endless patience and wisdom so they are able to deal with my moodes and can help, o, no, no get out of my head, not that i don't like the song but moms asleep in the next room, and when all i'm hearin is o what a singing, o what a shouting, on that happy morning when we all shall rise, well its really hard to be quiet. ya know? ok well anyway, thanks god for being so awsome!
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
keepin it real
disclaimer: if your having a perfectly good day and are happy about everything, i would stop right here, because like the title says, I'm keepin it real.
if any christian ever tells you your walk will be smooth sailing all the time and you'll never lose hope in god, then they're wrong! for the past few days I've tried to pretend o i'm good life is great, but inside I've been broken. in fact I'm in so many peeces right now that i can't even find them all. easter, which is suppose to be one of the mostif not the most important day of the year for christians,i can't think about it. I want to go hide until its over. at the church i attend, we've been incouraged to write a leter to god asking him to give us the desires of our heart. now, do i have things that i would like god to change? yes, but I can't write the leter. why? because, somewhere along the way I've lost the belief that god can work in my life. I've heard the stories of how things have changed in others lives, and every time I do i get all excited, but I also think, o, well that was them, nothing will happen to me. every time I go to church I quietly hope and I guess pray that someone will have a word from the lord for me, and every time a little part of me says well toldya so,no word for you. and it hurts so bad! so then the question came into my head, ok lord, what have I done wrong? if you'll just tell me I'll fix it, I'm trying to do right, i mean i don't drink or curss, i'm in the word daily, i pray when I get prayer chains, among other times, what, lord? what have I done? I try not to judge, I try to stay patient with my family and friends, even when they're not doing what i want, or not quick enough, I try to remember to thank you for each day I wake up, and i try to remember to thank you for the food, so what am i doing? maybe, by putting this out their I'll get some answers, and maybe, just maybe the peeces of my spirit will mend themselves so I can stand up sunday morning and shout from the hilltop he is risen, and really believe what I'm saying.and,maybe, just maybe I can poor out my heart in a leter and know without a doubt that everything I write will be heard.as a final note, this song has been in my head all day, and I don't understand why. Youtube URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8S8kYSuRQ0&feature=youtube_gdata_player
I want to apolagize in advance for ruinning anyones day, I try to keep it lite and positive on here, but i felt this needed to be said. in fact, i feel better now that its out.
if any christian ever tells you your walk will be smooth sailing all the time and you'll never lose hope in god, then they're wrong! for the past few days I've tried to pretend o i'm good life is great, but inside I've been broken. in fact I'm in so many peeces right now that i can't even find them all. easter, which is suppose to be one of the mostif not the most important day of the year for christians,i can't think about it. I want to go hide until its over. at the church i attend, we've been incouraged to write a leter to god asking him to give us the desires of our heart. now, do i have things that i would like god to change? yes, but I can't write the leter. why? because, somewhere along the way I've lost the belief that god can work in my life. I've heard the stories of how things have changed in others lives, and every time I do i get all excited, but I also think, o, well that was them, nothing will happen to me. every time I go to church I quietly hope and I guess pray that someone will have a word from the lord for me, and every time a little part of me says well toldya so,no word for you. and it hurts so bad! so then the question came into my head, ok lord, what have I done wrong? if you'll just tell me I'll fix it, I'm trying to do right, i mean i don't drink or curss, i'm in the word daily, i pray when I get prayer chains, among other times, what, lord? what have I done? I try not to judge, I try to stay patient with my family and friends, even when they're not doing what i want, or not quick enough, I try to remember to thank you for each day I wake up, and i try to remember to thank you for the food, so what am i doing? maybe, by putting this out their I'll get some answers, and maybe, just maybe the peeces of my spirit will mend themselves so I can stand up sunday morning and shout from the hilltop he is risen, and really believe what I'm saying.and,maybe, just maybe I can poor out my heart in a leter and know without a doubt that everything I write will be heard.as a final note, this song has been in my head all day, and I don't understand why. Youtube URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8S8kYSuRQ0&feature=youtube_gdata_player
I want to apolagize in advance for ruinning anyones day, I try to keep it lite and positive on here, but i felt this needed to be said. in fact, i feel better now that its out.
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