2010 at a glance

Well, i'm finally caught up on sleep! o yeah and its new years eve. hmmmm.I'll recap what I remember aka, all important events, of the year. attended my first ladies retreat. I suggest that everyone go to at least one. Started attending ladies bible class on tuesdays. I love this group! We're all family, so we laugh, cry, pray, and study the word. Switcched sunday school classes. I was very unsure of this move at first. I went once and didn't like it at all. But decided to give it another try. Now I love it. I watched 3 of my friends become wives, including my very best friend. O yeah, and their was a thing in my life called a boyfriend. We're just friends now, but it took a long time to make it their. I've watched friendships that I thought would never break crumble. It didn't exactly end badly, just when you email and email and hear nothing, it kinda hurts your feelings. I have drug my feet in the friendship dept, as well. I don't write anyone, I facebook, which is all fine if you have fb. I must get better at comunication! I reconnected with family that I had not seen in 13 years. And finally, I am the proud owner of a netbook!

home at last!

well, christmas is over, and I'm back in the place I love best. home! My own apartment, stuff, schedule, food, friends, phone, in short, life! the month of december has been busy from the word go! I'm ready to get back to my favorite place in my home invernment, church! I have enjoyed the extra sleep on sundays, but its not the norm. I had christmas with moms family as usual on christmas eve. Yesterday, I had christmas with my, uh, other parent, sperm doner, he is not a father to me, never has been. I got to see my step mom, granny, other brothers, neeces, and cousins. I'm still trying to figure out what, if any type of relationship I want with SD, aka, frank. I was civil and so was he, he spoke to me, but his words were empty and meaningless. I know I should forgive, or at least try to have some kind of relationship, but right now, I'm still so nervous and jumpy around them, and it'll take a long time before I feel ok. I love my stepmom and granny, and want to stay close to them, I text SM, so just need to call granny every now and then. The older of the other brothers didn't say 5 words to me, but he wanted a hug. That hurt, sort of, but I'm not pushing that one, we never were close. The 11 yearold sat beside me and opened his stuff, I was shy and so was he. Maybe over time we can get closer. If i have any kind of relationship with SD, I don't want to talk about the past. I want it left right where it is. I want him to know me now, not focus on what I was when I was 10. To end on a happy note, my brother in indiana and I have grown quite close.

helloooooooo, tennessee!

Well, I'm back! not home, but back in the state that is home to me. I'm hanging at moms till after christmas. On saturday, the kids got to open all there presents. and its a good thing, too! when we left on sunday morning about 1ish, their was no room to spare in that van! I got to moms a bit after 8, and have been trying to catch up on sleep for the past couple of days. I feel really run down and just, ug! O and to top it off guess who has a cold? O well, I'm trying to not let it get me down. I'm gonna cut this short, my bed is calling again!

snow? really?

the past few days have been fine. I really like it here, but I'm starting to miss the quiet of a kidless house.We're all getting along reallly well. We've been doing a lot of running around. most of it was trying to get christmas presents. Last night, we went to a program at the 6 year olds school. It was really good. I've been pulling a lot of late nighters. I think the earlyest I've gone to bed is 11. we're all heading to tn sometime early next week. I really miss my cat! No clue what the rest of the week has in store. stay tuned!

hello, indiana!

Well, I'm here! I got here late last night. The bus ride, to say the least was long. It was quiet as a toom for most of the ride. I tried to read, but couldn't concentrate, so I just quietly sat. I got in the capital of ind around 9. after a quick food stop, we started the 2 hour drive to where I'm staying. It actually turned in to a 4 hour drive, because it started snowing. We got home about 1ish. We stayed up till about 4. I was up around 9, to play with the neice. She's been a pill today. We're all tired, and so she being 5 is grumpy. we just finished pizza, and now we're al just relaxing. I think tomorrow we're going to do a bit of christmas shopping, or bargain hunting. stay tuned for updates!

bring on the nervs!

Well, my trip is almost here! And, with that, the nervs are really making themselves known. I can't sit still, I can't concentrate, and I have this constant feeling in my stomich! Wayne helped me pack the last time he was here, so that's done. All I have to do is schedule acces ride tomorrow to take me to the bus station on thursday. that, too makes me nervous. You never know what driver you'll get, whether they'll be helpful or not. Or how many people they have to pick up and or drop off. I so wish I could drive! I haven't even thought about asking anyone to drive me to the station, because everyone is busy,, and I don't want to cause anyone trouble. I can do this, I can do this, I can so totaly do this! uh, wait, I can, right? Sorry this post is all over the place, but that's my feelings now. You know I'm a mess when I can't even sit still to read!